I've been a mess,
I digress,
I've been so stressed.
They say i'm only sorry because I have been caught,
-but guess what-
-though i've been lied to,
and although
I have been trying to,
better myself,
and help myself,
but I can't
not when they pull me down--

I just want to change what is necessary,
I just want to be part of a community
I just want to feel like I belong
In a place that I'm sure people won't look at me wrong,
Outcasted because of someone fictional,
and called nothing but a useless victim,
Sometimes others do not watch the words that they speak,
They're all thinking something obsolete.

They won't stop until my heart stops beating
they won't stop until i'm done bleeding,
they won't stop until there's nothing left of me,
why can't I change already?
They all reckon that I am sorry,
they know I haven't done anything recently,
but my younger self's actions already defined me,
-PLEASE LET ME CHANGE ALREADY-
(Once more, I was only 13)
(can't you atleast let me speak?)

Although they assume, and
although they accuse,
they do not see what has been
shaped to define me, no.
They only see a freak
within a child,
they never stopped to think about me
and what I have been through.

(I should be angry at everyone around me,
for wronging me even though this was necessary,
to treat me like an outcast for doing everything
that I didn't know was completely wrong,
He should've atleast told me he was sorry,
instead of completely guilt-tripping me,
And now everyone else will believe i'm awful..)

They won't stop until my heart stops beating
they won't stop until i'm done bleeding,
they won't stop until there's nothing left of me,
why can't I change already?
They all reckon that I am sorry,
they know I haven't done anything recently,
but my younger self's actions already defined me,
-PLEASE LET ME CHANGE ALREADY-

I HAVEN'T EVEN REACHED MY SWEET SIXTEEN
AND NOW EVERYBODY CONSIDERS ME "EPSTEIN"
ALL BECAUSE I DREW SOMEONE WHO WAS MY AGE,
I cannot change, I cannot--
MAYBE ITS MY FAULT, MAYBE I SHOULD BE SORRY,
MAYBE I DESERVE ALL THE HATE THATS TOWARDS ME,
MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO THEM TELLING ME
"YOU CANNOT CHANGE, YOU CANNOT CHANGE"

I cannot change
I cannot change
no matter what
no matter what
I cannot please
I cannot speak
I cannot plead
innocently

I cannot change
I cannot change
no matter how
much i express
my solitude
my deep regret
I CANNOT CHANGE
I CANNOT CHANGE

I'LL ALWAYS BE
PROBLEMATIC
CUZ THATS JUST ME
THATS HOW I'LL BE
ALTHOUGH I PUKE
AT MY OWN WORDS
AT MY OWN FEELINGS
AND MY THOUGHTS
ITS WHO I AM
I SHOULD BE SHAMED
I SHOULD BE MAIMED
I SHOULD BE
OUTED AS A DEVIANT
I CANNOT CHANGE
IN ANYBODY'S EYES

(Tell me, who can I please?
Tell me what should I be?
what else do you all want from me?)
(I've only done your bidding,
I've only filled your needs,
And yet you all are still unhappy.)

I won't stop until my heart stops beating
I won't stop hurtin' until i'm done bleeding,
I won't stop until there's nothing left of me,
Too late to change already
They all don't care whether not I am sorry,
they still believe I am who I used to be
my younger self's actions already defined me,
IT STARTED WHEN I WAS 6,
PLEASE JUDGE, LET ME PLEAD GUILTY,
SENTENCE ME TO THE CHAIR PLEASE.