Chapter 2

I gazed down at the country passing by, waiting for sleep to overtake me. My thoughts swarmed with my problems with Courtney and the kids, tears coming to the corner of my eyes. I should’ve never agreed to having them. I don’t regret the love and time we’ve spent with them, but my heart breaks that I’m gone from them for so long. They don’t deserve a mother like me. So spacey and absent from their growing lives. Our lives aren’t normal and they don’t receive the love that they should. I know Courtney does a good job but she does it alone. It’s days like these that I hate contracts. If I could break my contract, I would, without hesitation.

Ugh. I’ve got to get my mind back on track. As soon as we touch down in New York, I’ve got a lot of work to do. I never travel to relax anymore. But I’m privileged. I’m happy to be able to go across the country, across the world even, and see all these sights other people don’t get to see. Of course, before we get to seeing the sights, I have a five hour meet and greet plus press conference thing to do in regards to my new album. What’s the name of it? Shit, I don’t even know. Isn’t that sad? I don’t name my own albums. Guess I’ll have to Google it before I meet the fans.

The flight attendants, who have beautiful legs and gorgeous blonde hair, brought me another blunt. I took a long drag, then blew the smoke off to the side. Christ, I hate weed. The skunky, earthy flavor that fills my mouth and lungs then dries out my mouth. I wonder if there’s a god. I think about life and the universe. I think about Courtney, Mika and Lucia. My heart starts racing and I shut my eyes.

Time passed. I dreamt of nothing.

“Ma’am,” a flight attendant put her hand on my shoulder. “We’re beginning our descent. Make sure to buckle up.” She flashed a perfect white smile and we locked eyes as I broke out of a groggy sleep. I thought about how much I miss sleeping with Courtney. I’ve been a good wife so far. It’s not time to dance in infidelity yet.

“Thanks for letting me know,” I gave her a sly grin and glanced downward then back up into her eyes, deep pools of honey brown. “Too bad we don’t have more time. I’ve never been part of the mile high club.”

“I’ll be your attendant on the way home too,” She said with a flirtatious wink. “The name’s Marina.” Words mean nothing, actions do. I shook her hand.

“Nice to meet you. You know who I am.” She giggled and went back to her duties. I watched her as she walked away, blonde hair bobbing with every step.

As I put my seatbelt on and looked out the window toward the approaching ground, I let out a deep sigh. It was almost time to tend to my duties and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

Fame is fucking taxing on the people who don’t want it.